Let There Be Light - Kylo Ren ON HOLD
by lauren0712
Summary: 'My honest thoughts led to a look of pure rage spreading across his face. His hand reached out, and with a determined gaze he lifted my body into the air. The breath was taken out of my lungs and I began to choke from the force he was using against me.' He was the most feared man in the galaxy and only she was getting in his way. Kylo Ren AU based loosely on TFA.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 _3 years ago on the planet of Chandrila_

"I'm leaving Ana."

At that moment, it only took 3 simple words to break my fragile heart. Ben's eyes wouldn't meet mine, but I could feel the anger that they held. His long, dark locks obscured most of his face from my view and kept his true feelings away from me.

Tears brimmed at my sunken eyes. I couldn't lose my closest friend like this. A stray droplet escaped down my cheek and fell to the marble floor below us. I tried my best to hide my expression when I gave him my frustrated reply.

"Then go."

Hurt flashed across his face at my harsh response. I wanted him to feel the way I felt; abandoned. All of his training had led up to this final moment, the one last step to him becoming a true jedi. It pained me to think that he knew that leaving me would always be required in order for him to become a powerful force user. I would only hold him back.

Now the moment had come and it would be time to say goodbye forever.

I wanted Ben to show me how he truly felt. Would he miss the friendship which I deeply cherished? Would all the adventures and time we shared together travelling the galaxy be a long forgotten memory? Would he miss me, or would it just be me who longed for him?

He eventually met my glare. His impassive expression only further fuelled my inner turmoil. I was no longer staring into the eyes of my best friend, but those of a manipulated young man. Whatever the jedi had trained him to be, turned him into the monster he is today. A tense silence had formed between us in the grand hall of his parents' house. Until his booming voice tore through my soul.

"I will go! I will leave you and your pathetic life behind! No-one can stop me from harnessing the potential of my powers; especially not a forceless orphan like you!"

There were no words at that point which would express the awful agony that his cruel words had given me. The intense volume mixed with his thoughtless speech caused me to go into shock. I was afraid. Afraid of what such an uncontrollable youth would grow into. Afraid of Luke Skywalker and his obliviousness to what his apprentice had turned into. Afraid that I would never see the Ben Solo I once loved again.

Despite it all, I didn't dare lose eye contact. I knew he would be able to sense my fear, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing it on my face. In one long movement I stepped forward to walk away from the source of my pain, before his hand aggressively grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards him.

The terror which I had hidden found a way of exposing itself as I was forced to stand face to face with Ben; our noses practically brushing against each other. Despite the close proximity, the gesture wasn't at all romantic, instead it was profoundly threatening and caused a shiver to roll down my spine.

I could feel him using the force to read through my mind. Regardless of my best efforts, I couldn't fight off the intrusive powers which he was using to uncover my thoughts. For a split second, his blue orbs betrayed him as a look of sympathy crossed them. However, they were soon replaced by the hard glower he had adopted.

The dark side's influence on Ben could now be seen more than ever. His mother, General Organa, had discretely expressed her concern a few months ago during a failed training mission which had caused her son to lash out. Back then I was in denial that I could possibly be losing someone I had such a high respect for.

I knew that Ben would be seeing all this as he continued to scan my brain. At this point I no longer cared about what he saw, at least then he would know how I truly felt.

 _You've changed Ben. Your punishing words mean nothing to me anymore. The dark side has consumed you and turned you into a demon. You are just an immature boy who is happy to destroy anything in their path to reach their goals. I would much rather be a lonely orphan than a self-centred, uncaring jedi like you will become._

My honest thoughts led to a look of pure rage spreading across his face. His hand reached out, and with a determined gaze he lifted my body into the air. The breath was taken out of my lungs and I began to choke from the force he was using against me. Desperation and terror filled me as I stared hopelessly at the furious teen below.

My hands reached around my neck in an attempt to relieve the intense pressure. I gasped, trying to supply my body with air, knowing that it was in vain. In my final seconds of consciousness, I thought back to how much I had truly loved the person who would now be ending my life.

I thought back to the time when we first met at kindergarten, when we were both mere younglings. All the times he made me feel whole again after the sudden death of my parents. Even the time when he promised us a life together one day on a tropical planet located somewhere in the outer rim, away from all the chaos in the universe.

Now it would all be gone. The black assassin that was closing in on my last hope of life had won its battle. My body dropped to the floor like a rag doll, and my mind went suddenly blank.

The darkness had won.

 **Hello everyone! This is my first Kylo Ren fanfiction on this website, which I am going to be updating every few days. Sadly, this chapter is quite short and sweet as it is only the prologue, but next chapter there will be a time skip forward where the writing will become much more lengthy.**

 **Lauren**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 _Present Day, located in a remote town in Jakku_

My body shot up out of the thin covers of my bed, startled by the haunting nightmare which infected my slumber every night. The sleep terror had caused a thin layer of sweat to cover my body from the intense fear which it had caused. Despite its daily repetitiveness, the horror of the memory still had a petrifying effect on me.

I never saw Ben again after that fateful day on Chandrila. When Han and Leia finally found my body in a motionless heap in their grand hallway, they knew that I was lucky to survive the onslaught from their ruthless son. Half the bones in my body had been broken from my harsh impact with the ground and it had taken months for me to fully recover.

We were both only 16 at the time, yet had become mature for our age due to our public importance and responsibilities. When my parents passed away, both General Organa and her husband had taken me in and cared for me as if I was one of their own. For them it must have been heart breaking to see what their son had turned into, but also to see the everlasting impact it had on me.

I knew I would never be able to look either of them in the eye again, as it would only remind me of Ben and what he was before he was lost to the dark side. He never did complete his jedi training; after his attack on me he fled to the empire, knowing that what he did was unforgivable.

Two years after the attack when I had finally come of age, I left behind the only people I cared about to start a new life on Jakku. I was aware that I would never be found on such a deserted planet with little wealth. Life here was hard, but I adapted to the unforgiving conditions quickly. I cherished the isolation and new identity I had garnered.

My house consisted of only one room. A simple bed, stove and washing basin filled the four walls. I looked up at the partially cracked ceiling above my head, before deciding to haul myself from the stiff mattress I was lay on. A single window was located on the opposite wall; the sun blaring through it informed me that it was the late morning.

I washed my body in the basin full of cool water and dressed myself in my casual attire. My outfit consisted of a faded white tunic and lightweight beige pants. A sturdy belt held my clothing in place as well as accommodating the blaster which I had stolen before leaving the resistance.

My stomach ached as I realized that it had been empty for over a full day. I cut a chunk out of my plain loaf and devoured it, savouring every last crumb. I would need to find another job on the side unless I wanted to starve along with the other desperate scavengers.

Turning the handle, I swung open my wooden door and headed off to the village in hope of finding employment in the lifeless area. Looking into the distance, I could notice the silhouette of the familiar buildings in spite of the blinding sun rays which impaired my vision. Life in Jakku was no luxury, but I still preferred it to the busy life of a resistance fighter.

Back in Chandrila, the flashbacks were far worse and would constantly torment me throughout the day. However, no-one had the courage to comment on my mental health to the General, in fear of offending their respected leader. I couldn't find a way of coping with the issue when I was encompassed in the stress of fighting a war; my only choice was to leave.

My leather sandals padded against the soft sand beneath me. The village was a mere mile away, and so would only take 15 minutes to reach if I travelled at a firm pace. As I got closer, the buildings and busy locals became clearer to see. I sighed with relief as I finally reached the shaded shelter of the market.

The reprieve from the searing heat was soothing to my burning skin. I gazed around the stalls in awe at the selection of fresh meat and vegetables that were being sold. My stomach began to churn again, forcing me to divert my attention away from the attractive food only a few feet away from me.

Half - heartedly, I dragged myself away from the mouth – watering market stalls, and headed off to the bar across the village, owned by the notorious landlord Ruene. He was a merciless creature who controlled many of the taverns in Jakku and was rumoured to have links with countless empire officials. Nevertheless, I knew that he also had a job vacant due to the last bar tender finding employment as a transporter's apprentice in another system.

Reluctantly, I walked into the sleazy tavern and avoided the unsettling stares from the drunks who had still not returned home since the night before. I scanned the room until my eyes found those of the bar's manager, Muscida Nightcatcher. His bored gaze made my confidence waver, yet I found my legs striding over to him until we were face to face.

"I'm aware you have a bar tender job available. If the offer is still open, I would be grateful to take it."

His mouth curled up into a revolting smirk as he digested my words. I refused to contemplate the dirty thoughts which were likely infesting his mind as he gave my body a once over. Just before I grew impatient, Muscida let out a remark which caused me to scoff.

"A young girlie like you could be doing a much more rewarding job. With a body like that, the men here would pay a decent fee to spend the night with your pretty face."

My mouth dropped in shock. A low growl escaped my mouth as I spat in his face to express my disgust. My hand flew up to strike him, but I refrained myself from causing a scene in the stirring tavern. Muscida noticed the move and grabbed my raised arm, pulling it towards him. My body crashed against his in a crippling grip.

Deafening gun shots filled the air. The hold against my body was lost as everyone in the tavern dropped to the floor in panic. Only I remained standing in the silent room. I used the distraction as a chance to escape the repulsive presence of Mr Nightcatcher. Shootings were common in this area due to the many rival gangs which occupied Jakku.

I sprinted to the door whilst the remainder of the bar guests were too intoxicated to lift their drunken bodies back to their seats. My arms pushed the door open with a determined force and caused it to fly open. My momentum led to me taking a few extra strides away from the tavern before promptly stopping in shock at the horror scene before me.

The gun shot from moments ago turned into an orchestra of blasters, accompanied by the storm troopers which operated them. They ripped through the small village carelessly, causing carnage in their path. This was the first time that the empire had ever targeted Jakku, causing me to believe that Reune had likely angered the vengeful soldiers which were murdering everything in their way.

Without a second thought, my frantic legs carried me towards a stack of beer barrels in an attempt to hide from the white armoured suits which were growing closer by the minute. I self-consciously grabbed my blaster at my side, even though it would be no hope against the masses of storm troopers which now surrounded me.

I crawled into a ball and squeezed me eyes shut to try to let my mind escape from the sounds of despair coming from innocent villagers. I flinched every time the sound of another body collapsing against the floor would echo across the walls of the clay buildings. My time was quickly running out; the blasters could be heard from only a few paces away now.

A sob escaped me as I felt an iron grip wrap around my body and press me against the wall. The moisture in my eyes blurred my vision, but even that didn't stop me from identifying the storm trooper which now confronted me. My blaster was ripped out of my belt and thrown to the ground away from me.

The cold surface of the trooper's gun pressed against my forehead. In my final moments I reminisced about the few everlasting memories I had gathered over my short life. I had never thought that my life would end so prematurely. Jakku was only my first step to exploring the galaxy as a free individual.

But now it would all be cut short. I couldn't help but think of the last time my life was so close to ending. The emotionless mask that covered the soldier's face was the same as Ben's when he verbally abused me, until I became the shell of the person I once was. I took a last breath as his finger tightened on the trigger.

"NO!"

The storm trooper jumped away from me in shock as he glanced over at the menacing black figure which had prevented my execution. The black suit had an uncanny resemblance to the murderous sith, Darth Vader. I nervously searched my mind for any reason why I would be of such importance to this complete stranger.

It only took a few seconds for the dark soldier to reach me. Without warning, the storm trooper was thrown into a nearby house using the power of the force. I didn't feel an ounce of liberation as the black figure stood in the same spot as the storm trooper, which had attempted to end my life a short period ago.

His black gloved hand rose up to caress my cheek, sending jolts of anxiety through my body. The caring gesture quickly disappeared as he moved his hand to grab my neck and use it to keep a firm hold of my body. In complete silence, he began to walk us through the village and towards an unknown destination. It was a few minutes until the figure decided to speak again.

"Do not bother trying to resist me, or you will deeply regret it. I am known as Kylo Ren, Master of the knights of Ren. I have more power than you could ever dream of; be grateful that I spared such an inferior life as yours."

"Where are we going?!" I wept as I was forced to view the destruction of my home.

The figure stopped and turned my body to face him. He kept an uncomfortable grip on my shoulder to prevent me from moving any part of my body.

"We will be returning to the Star Killer base where you will be kept in remand until further notice." He paused, growing impatient at my sorrowful cries. "NOW STOP YOUR COWARDLY WEEPING, OR I WILL MAKE YOU WISH THAT YOU HAD BEEN KILLED AND BURIED ALONG WITH THE REST OF YOUR VILLAGE!"

The robotic voice projected by his suit was loud enough to awaken the whole of Jakku. Adrenaline pumping through my blood cut short any fear I felt. In its place, I was consumed by anger and hate. But I wasn't careless, I knew that Kylo was capable of making me experiencing paralysing pain at just the wave of his hand. I obeyed his command and concealed any emotions from penetrating my face.

He returned his clutch on my neck and directed me through the rubble and remains of a once - lively area. After another half mile, we reached our final destination; a menacing empire ship, much larger than the ones which were now becoming occupied by bloodied Stormtroopers. Confused looks filled the faces of the unmasked empire pilots which were seated at the front of the space craft once they saw my helpless body being propelled by their callous superior.

I bowed my head down as I was involuntarily placed in a metallic seat at the rear of the ship. Kylo directed the two men on the course we would be taking, before seating himself opposite me. I stared down at the ground to avoid his critical gaze.

My life on Jakku was gone, and it would never be the same again.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _A prison cell located on the star killer base_

3 days was spent in complete isolation. My lack of communication with anyone other than myself was its own form of torture. The only thing I could think about were the pained screams of everyone in the village and the masses of dead bodies that followed them.

After the first 24 hours, my appetite became completely non – existent. The constant anxiety and fear for my life had caused anything I attempted to consume to almost immediately be brought back up, into the make – shift latrine located in my cell. As a result, my energy levels had depleted and left my body in a barely functioning state on the cool, metal floor.

The guards took notice of my lack of nourishment. Every time they pushed a small tray of food through the slim hatch in the door way, they would peak through the gap and report on my condition to their officer. By now they knew it would only be days before I was seriously ill, or worse.

However, their constant efforts to keep me alive led to me questioning the identity of the masked man who saved me. His name was Kylo Ren, but that knowledge had no meaning to a scavenger like me, who was isolated from the current war. I was completely unaware of his existence until a few days ago; but he had surely known of mine.

Were the empire aware of my previous affiliation with the resistance? Despite the improbability of them recognizing me, it was still a small chance. I knew that if it was the case, then my limited life on this battleship would be an excruciatingly painful one. They would torture me for every last bit of information I held; once finished I would be quickly disposed of.

The irony was that I would be of no advantage whatsoever to the scheming generals who would batter my body for this worthless information. My last contact with the resistance was over a year ago, but even then I was quietly kept out of the loop about all the latest plans and raids. Minors would not be allowed to take part in missions until they had come of age.

Hopefully that would make my death on here a less tormenting one. I knew it wasn't long until I would be took in for questioning and extracted out of every single thing I had learnt about the resistance. Yet as I saw the door of my cell being swung open by two Stormtroopers, I couldn't help but feel a shockwave of fear spread through my body.

They knew that my limbs were weak by now, and so hauled me from my position on the floor and dragged my limp body down the complex of hallways in the space station. I reluctantly swallowed any fear I had, knowing that it would make me more vulnerable to their punishing methods of interrogating.

It took a total of 10 long minutes before we reached our final destination. My arms ached from being pulled through the long corridors. Not once did the white armoured soldiers relent as they marched with my body in their arms. They had no sense of humanity about them, instead acting like lifeless robots who obediently took orders from whoever was above their ranking.

As we reached a halt in front of the grand steel doors, I was placed back onto my feet whilst the Stormtroopers commenced in opening it. They forced me to step inside the menacing room and commanded me towards a metallic table. The sight of it caused me to gasp.

2 straps were positioned on either side of the counter. My eyes bulged with shock as I was grabbed and tied onto it by the pair of soldiers who had brought me here. I kicked my legs in defence, attempting to prevent them from locking me in place. After a short – lived fight, my frail body betrayed me and subdued to the threatening surface of the bench. The table was then rotated upright so that I was in a standing position, with my limbs unable to move completely.

Not long after, the Stormtroopers exited the haunting room, leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts. Instead of the fear I was used to feeling, a growing sense of frustration filled me. There was no hope left for my existence and my final days would be spent being treated like a despicable prisoner.

It was only a brief period of 5 minutes before the door to the room reopened, but it felt like an eternity. I wasn't surprised to see the dark suit of Kylo Ren be the one that had entered. It would only make sense that he would be the one that took responsibility of his own captive. My furious gaze felt strong enough to penetrate his black mask, nonetheless he was completely unaffected by the action.

His loud footsteps echoed around the 4 walls until he finally came face to face with me. At this point I had lost all hope of survival; all I wanted was answers.

"Why didn't you leave me to rot like the rest of the village? Why do you insist on bringing me here and torturing me? You're only prolonging my death! Do you enjoy torturing your victims before you kill them?!"

My loud outburst ripped through the silence that had formed over the last few days. My adrenaline led me to continue my short speech which I would surely pay for afterwards.

"I wish you would have left me to die and burn with all the people I had once known! You are a murderous psychopath with no value for human life!"

In a fit of rage, Kylo began to force choke me in order to prevent me from finishing my harrowing speech. Pained coughs escaped my mouth as I attempted to breathe again. As quickly as it had begun, the pressure instantly stopped.

"You will never talk to me like you just did again, or next time I will watch in joy as your body turns unresponsive at the wave of my fingertips!"

I said nothing in response, my only defiance was returning an unsettling eye contact with the emotionless mask. The tension between us felt suffocating in such close quarters. After realizing that he had no intention of restarting our cut throat conversation, I flicked my eyes away from his intimidating suit, and instead towards the wall I was adjacent to.

He took this as an opportunity to penetrate my mind and sift through the contents of it. I looked in horror as he dove deeper and deeper into my brain, afraid of what he would find. It was only when he reached my most dreaded memory from 3 years ago that I began to thrash in my restraints, unable to handle reliving the event.

As he watched the moment Ben strangled me and let my body collapse on the ground, he immediately withdrew from my mind and took a step back from my shaking body on the bench. He looked torn as he stood staring at me and watched my eyes pool with tears of defeat.

"You know everything now! Are you happy? I will be of no help to the empire whatsoever! Do me the favour and end my life now."

Kylo started to take strides towards me, till my nose was practically touching my mask.

"Im sorry." He murmured in a robotic voice, before proceeding to doing something that left me speechless.

Kylo Ren slowly lifted his mask, until it was completely off. Left facing me was a person I had never thought nor wanted to encounter again.

Ben Solo.

I threw myself back in fear at the man who was facing me. He was the maker of all of my night terrors and now was only inches away from me. I looked down at the floor in disgust. Ben had turned into a monster, replicating the look of his sith grandfather. The only difference was that Anakin had found a way to return to the light.

His pale fingers cupped my fragile face and lifted my head up in an action that was uncharacteristically gentle. My light blue eyes gazed into his dark black orbs. For a short moment, it was just me and Ben again, causing my heart to swell from the long forgotten memories of our friendship.

"Ben…" I sobbed, hopelessly looking at him for any sign of the person he once was.

As soon as his name had left my lips, his eyes turned into slits and his grip on my chin tightened.

"That name will not leave your mouth again! Ben was gone the day I discovered the beauty of the dark side. Only your ignorance is stopping you from seeing that too."

The man staring at me now was only the shell of the close friend I once loved. The only thing they both shared was the same face and black curly locks. The restraints on my body suddenly felt tighter than ever, as I was desperate to inflict the amount of pain on Ben that he had on me for all these years.

"You are a monster! Look at yourself. You parade around in a suit all day thinking that it will make you just like your grandfather! I will never forgive you for what you did to me the day that you left! I bet you wished that you had finished the job! The truth is _Ben_ , that you have made everyone who ever loved you despise you in your quest for power!"

Once he had heard my response, his face turned crimson with outrage. The lightsaber located in his right pocket was ignited into a striking red ray. He launched it at every object in the dense room. Not one counter was left untouched in his destructive frenzy. All I could do was watch in despair as he cried in annoyance at my hatred towards him.

When inanimate objects stopped satisfying his anger, he turned his saber to me; a look of insanity was painted on his face.

"You have no information on the resistance. Why should I bother sparing your life?!"

He wanted his harsh words to have the same effect on me that they did on our previous encounter. But I didn't fear death anymore, I welcomed it. I was done with the suffering that Ben had caused me and prayed for it to be over. I would no longer be disturbed by nightmares or constantly on the run from both the resistance and empire.

It was likely that in his manic state he wouldn't spare a thought about plunging his red staff into my heart and watch my life rapidly fade away before him. I knew that dying now would be easier than enduring the torture of being a prisoner. So when he asked me that question, I instantly knew my response.

"Don't."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _Interrogation chamber located within the Star Killer base._

What I told him was true. As he heard my permission for him to end my life, Ben completely sobered up from his unpredictable outrage and stared at me with a solemn expression. His face conveyed a mixture of disbelief and disappointment, further fuelling the turmoil inside of me. He was in no position to disapprove my choices after making the wrong ones all of his life.

The glowing red saber, which was pointed at my abdomen, was hastily deactivated by Ben and returned to his pocket. My body remained pressed backwards against the steel bench in anticipation for his next move. It was likely that he would take pleasure in torturing me before he showed me the mercy of putting me out of my misery.

"Why do you no longer value your life, Ana?"

Just hearing my name leave his lips caused me to scoff.

"I never gave you permission to call me that." I uttered, mocking his new identity and hatred of his own true name.

"Do not undermine me Ana. Your pathetic attempt at avoiding to answer my question doesn't satisfy me. What caused you to become so suicidal?"

"Why don't you just read through my mind again? I'm sure you will find the answer there!"

"You've stopped eating as well. Do you hope that after all the effort I have gone through to keep you alive, I will let you starve yourself to death?!"

"You want the truth! That's what happens when you are locked up and kept captive by a monstrous psychopath! I would rather be anywhere in the galaxy right now, as long as I'm not somewhere near you!"

I growled in frustration, forced to remain immobile when the only thing I wanted to do was strike Ben across the face with as much strength as my weak body could manage. My heart was pumping loudly from stress and caused my breathing to become ragged. Sensing my resentment, Ben paused and allowed me to calm down before resuming our conversation.

"I can't kill you Ana. You don't know how much I wanted to moments ago, but something was holding me back. You're the only link I have left to the light side; my only vulnerability. And I hate you for it."

His words weren't said with loathing or anger. Instead they were spoken innocently and honestly, like what he had told me was a terrifying secret. They gave me hope that Ben was still trapped inside somewhere, waiting to be broken out. In a moment of revelation, I found myself opening up to him as well.

"I hated you for months, maybe even years, for what you did to me on Chandrila. Even now as I look at you, I know that Kylo Ren is only a way for you to try and hide away Ben Solo. There is still a chance for you to redeem yourself Ben, just let the light in!"

He looked torn and defeated after hearing my small speech. I knew that I would never be enough to bring back the Ben I once loved. A stray tear fell down my cheek, causing me to look away from Ben in an attempt to hide my saddened thoughts. The click of his mask being reattached to his suit drew my attention back to him. I was left staring at an emotionally detached façade he had created to become a ruthless soldier.

He reached a hand up to his earpiece and contacted an officer in his electronically altered voice. "Return prisoner A13620 to their cell, pending further questioning at a later date." My eyes looked at him in horror as I realized that I would be thrown back into my insignificant chamber and left utterly isolated for another long period of time, before I would be returned to the clutches of Kylo Ren once again.

I squirmed against the straps in protest. This was his punishing way of spiting me for my plea that he should return to the light side. The agony which spread throughout all of my limbs didn't tire me from trying to escape incarceration on this deadly space station.

"Please Ben! Don't make me stay in that cell anymore! There is no torture like the isolation I have endured over the last 3 days! I can't stay locked up in there forever!"

My desperate begging did nothing to affect his decision. The barrier covering his face prevented me from seeing his reaction to my feeble appeals. Despite this, I did not give in, hoping to chip away at his armour that covered his true emotions. Even when the two Stormtroopers which he had summoned arrived in the room, I continued to kick and hiss in protest as they unstrapped me from the table and grasped my shaking form.

"Ben!" I yelled desperately, wanting to cause a scene and stop him from letting me return to the cell. I kicked against the door and screamed at the top of my lungs in determination. I stared at Ben with a wounded look in my eyes as I was hauled away. Tired of watching me wrestle his guards, he levitated his arm towards me and used the force to send my body into an unconscious slumber.

* * *

I awoke feeling dazed and stared into my room with blurry vision. As the image around me focused, I noticed a medical droid positioned to my right, feeding liquid supplements into my arm. The nourishment had returned most of my strength and cleared my head. I felt a sense of rejection as I realized that Ben wasn't concerned that I was being treated like a filthy inmate aboard his ship.

A few minutes later, my door opened as a guard entered the room to collect the robot which had been nursing me. I had no idea how long I had been out cold for, and no sense of time. It could have been hours or even days since my confrontation with Kylo Ren. I knew for certain now that the person I had just met was not the Ben Solo I once knew.

My closest friend would have never locked me away in a prison cell. Instead, he would have cared for me and protected me with his life. I would have always done the same for him too, without a second thought. I was reminded of the time we visited Felucia and were exploring the vast jungle.

" _Come on Ben! I'll race you up this huge tree here! Loser has to give the winner 100 credits!"_

 _I excitedly began to climb up the tall tree as fast as I could. Looking down, I could see Ben catching up with me and I started to scramble up the trunk even faster. My grip on the tree had loosened, but I didn't care, too busy focusing on beating my best friend to the top. I laughed in delight as the peak of the tree came into view, knowing I would win the race._

 _But as I grabbed onto a small branch a few feet away from the highest point of the tree, my footing slipped and I lost my hold on the jungle bark. My body began to hurtle towards the ground at an alarming rate. I screamed in dismay as I watched the soil below me grow closer and closer. Just as I was about to collide with the surface, my free falling came to an immediate stop. I glanced up at Ben, who had a look of concentration on his face, his arm outstretched towards me._

It was that careless day spent adventuring on the lush planet, that I learnt that my best friend had the powers of the force. We were both mere 13 year olds, unaware of the capabilities Ben possessed in his hands. Looking back at the event, it was shockingly evident how much his new – found powers had consumed him. I always wondered that if Ben wasn't a force user and just a regular human like me, would he have still been attracted to the merciless first order.

Beliefs such as that had always given me hope that Ben would have returned to the resistance and to his family. Now all I saw was the brutal persona of Kylo Ren, destroying any of his past self. I was the only thing left as evidence for his previous life, which was what caused him to despise me. It hurt to know that someone I used to love so much, was now sickened by my presence.

My heart was slowly becoming blackened by Kylo Ren. The only reason for living anymore was to prove I could survive his constant torment. Being alive was the only piece of power I had over him; my only source of defiance. I glowered at the oppressive wall which sealed me away from everyone, deliberating how many other prisoners had been confined in this tiny cell.

It wouldn't be long until the other generals caught on that I was actually of no use whatsoever to assisting the first order. I was unsure of what influence Kylo had over them, but knew that Snoke would likely have the last word over any of Kylo's activities. I dreaded the idea of the supreme leader becoming aware of my existence, knowing that it would make my time so far on the Star Killer feel like nothing compared to the suffering he would make me go through. I just had to pray that no generals would go behind the back of Ren and inform him.

Still exhausted from the insomnia I had tolerated on the ship, my eyes began to slowly lower, whilst I was still trapped deep in thought. My body relaxed onto the hard surface I was lay on and started to drift away into a deep sleep. The last thing I saw before my eyes completely shut, was the large cell door, which kept me in my enclosure like a zoo animal.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _Unknown location on the Star Killer base_

My body slowly stirred awake from the deep sleep it had fallen into. I was shocked that I was not awoken by any of the common nightmares that usually ate away at my unconsciousness. Gradually, my eyes began to slowly open and adjust to my surroundings. I was jolted out of my fatigue when I realized that I was no longer in the confined prison cell walls.

I looked around in a distressed state, panicked at how I was clueless to my surroundings. In the corner of my eye, I noticed a familiar masked figure and focused my attention on him. He could see the confused look on my face, but remained silent. He was seated on a leather stool, opposite to the grand bed I was lay on.

"Where am I Kylo?!"

He watched me for a few more moments. His long pause was likely a way of tormenting me, knowing that I was completely disoriented and vulnerable. The only advantage I had this time was that I was no longer strapped to a metal torture bench; completely at his mercy.

"You'll be happy to know that you are in my room Ana; likely for the foreseeable future as well. My guards aren't the stupid soldiers you expect them to be. Usually, I extract all the information I need during an investigation, then the prisoner is quickly disposed of. In your case that didn't happen, causing many of my men to become suspicious of my actions."

I felt disgust as I gathered that I had been one of the lucky ones to escape the murderous clutches of Kylo Ren. In any other case I would have been thrown off the back of the ship in a body bag. Kylo paused for a few moments, evidently deliberating whether he should tell me further information. I noticed his indecision and further prompted him for more details.

"So what caused you to bring me here?"

"I needed an excuse as to why I had spared your life. Obviously, telling them the truth wasn't an option. So I made them believe that I took a liking to you and intend to use you for private purposes."

I bubbled with fury at this revelation. How dare he tell everyone that I was being used as his own personal prostitute. My body sprang into action, launching itself off the bed and towards his smug form. I knew that this was his way of getting revenge, after I humiliated him in front of the two Stormtroopers trying to transport me during our last encounter.

As I travelled towards him mid-air, my body was thrown back onto the bed with the wave of his hand. I hit the mattress with a harsh enough impact to take my breath away. Yet I no longer cared about the pain that my body felt. The mixture of anger and embarrassment consumed me and caused me to glare at Kylo with hatred.

"Why would you disgrace me in such a way?! Or do I really need to ask? You're probably still bitter about the way I treated your guards and wanted to find a way to get payback! Or maybe it was just the fact that you have no feelings anymore, and couldn't care less about mine either!"

"If you think this is my way of getting revenge, then you severely underestimate me. I could make you in so much pain that you would be on your knees, pleading for me to end your life! You got what you wanted! You no longer have to live in that shitty prison cell for the rest of your time here. But if I hear one more complaint from you, I won't think twice about putting you back in there!"

I knew that his threat was true. Kylo removed his mask; further revealing the frustrated look on his face. He slowly stood up and walked towards me, until he was stood above my lying body in a menacing stance. I sat up and pushed myself as far away as possible from him, until I reached the headboard of his large bed.

"Do I scare you?" He asked, making me scoff at him.

"It's not every day that you wake up in a psychopath's bed! You can't blame me for being sceptical at your motives after what you've been telling the rest of your crew. How did you even get me here without 6 of your soldiers manhandling me before dragging me across the ship?!"

"The medical droid drugged you. I was not going to risk you having another outburst after how much of an embarrassment you were the last time we transported you."

"Embarrassment. Is that what I am to you?! Isn't that all I've ever been to you since you discovered your force sensitivity?"

His eyes hardened, giving me an impassive expression. I used to be able to read my best friend like a book, but now his emotions were totally shut off from me. Kylo was right; I was absolutely petrified by him. His unpredictability constantly had me on edge and in fear. He ignored my question as if it had never been asked, and instead gave me more news to dread.

"From now on you will remain in these quarters at all times, unless escorted by myself. If you are stupid enough to try and escape, I won't stop the Stormtroopers from killing you if needed."

Kylo then walked around the bed and up to my tensed frame. I looked him in the eyes, which were now only inches away. I felt the seriousness of his tone, and knew that this was a warning I shouldn't take lightly. My breathing quickened as I was forced into such close proximity with a person whom I was morbidly afraid of. In my best effort, I tried to hide my anxiousness and sound as confident as I could.

"Who said I would attempt to leave?"

Kylo shocked me and leaned in further, till his lips were almost touching my ear. My heart began to pound against my chest whilst my face turned crimson red.

"I can read your mind." He whispered smugly. I immediately grew self-conscious that he could see everything that went on in my head. All of my feelings were exposed to him; something that made me feel more defenceless than ever. Despite our once – close friendship, I had no idea who this man was, yet he knew everything about me.

My thoughts were shortly interrupted by a loud knock at the door. Kylo pulled away from me, a smirk still evident on his face. I let out a short breath of relief that I was no longer being forced to endure the same breathing space as him. He wanted to make me feel nervous and use it to his advantage. I was only grateful that he didn't get chance to toy with me any further.

He re-equipped his mask before opening the door to the three Stormtroopers which were obediently waiting outside. They entered the room, each carrying a metallic container. The trio marched in perfect synchronization and placed the boxes beside the bed, before swiftly turning around and heading straight back through the exit. After the door closed again, the room was left in a deafening silence. Still confused by Kylo's apparent mood swings, I refused to make any more conversation with the confusing specimen. His kept his mask on this time, deciding to talk to me in with his robotic voice.

"Those containers have some essentials you will need if you're going to be staying here. I thought it would be appropriate since you will no longer be just a temporary passenger."

Regardless of the simplicity of it, the considerate gesture made me wonder if he was still capable of caring for me. Perhaps the Ben I once knew was still trapped inside the cold man he was now. A small spark of hope lit up in me.

"Ana, don't let your thoughts get carried away. Stop expecting the best of me, or you will just end up hurt and I won't be giving you any sympathy when you do."

That spark inside of me was extinguished immediately. My face dropped and lost any sense of spirit as it became a dull expression of defeat. Kylo began to walk towards the door of his room and opened it.

"I have a meeting with Snoke. Don't leave or do anything foolish."

And with that he left. I was once again isolated and left to entertain myself. My bitter feelings were overpowering me and I was desperate for a distraction from my dire situation. I carefully slipped myself off of the bed and strolled towards the recent deliveries. Uncaring of if I was supposed to, I began to pry open the first metallic box. Kylo had said that the contents were belongings I would need, so I presumed he wouldn't be too angry.

As I lifted the lid off, I saw that the box contained a black leather outfit. I lifted the ensemble up into the air and noticed how tight fitting it was. Instantly, I knew I hated the uniform and let it drop from my hands, back into the steel container. Hesistantly, I moved my attention on to the next box, hoping that it would be an improvement on the last.

I looked in awe as the box revealed a familiar item I never thought that I would encounter again. Delicately placed at the bottom of the container, was my beloved blaster taken from me on Jakku. It shocked me that Kylo would trust me with my weapon. Immediately I returned the blaster to the belt of my tunic, knowing that it was now in its rightful place.

Slightly more optimistic, I set my sights on the final box which had been brought into the room. My hands gripped onto the lid in an attempt to open it, but quickly learned that the container had been locked. I was slightly confused as to why the contents had been sealed away from me, but didn't want to risk damaging them.

Finally left with nothing else to amuse myself with, I realized that it had been days since I had last washed myself. Abruptly feeling the need to clean my body, I wandered around Kylo's quarters until I located a shower. Stepping into it, I lose any sense of time as I let the steaming water relax my limbs.

By the time I decided to get out, hours could have passed by without me comprehending. I hurriedly wrapped a towel around my body and looked at the pile of clothes on the floor. Only now did I notice how filthy my robes had become. I huffed in defeat, knowing that I would have to change into the skin-tight leather costume I had just received. I paced out of the bathroom and stopped with a jolt as I saw the door to the room swing open.

Kylo noticed me as he stepped in, coming to a complete halt. His mask hid his facial expression, which saved me from any further embarrassment.

"GET OUT!"

My shriek was loud enough to send shockwaves throughout the whole ship. Kylo snapped out of his haze and briskly exited the room, giving me back my privacy. In a flustered state, I threw my new set of clothes on and tied my hair into an intricate braid. Once decent, I communicated to Kylo, aware that he would likely be reading my mind. _You can come back in now._

As soon as I had given him permission, Kylo returned to the room, seemingly unphased by the previous awkward encounter. His suit caused every step he took to echo around the four walls of his chambers. He came to a stop only a few feet away from me. After a brief moment of silence, Kylo said something in the robotic voice of his mask, which sent chills down my spine.

"I have news from the supreme leader."


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _Kylo Ren's quarters within the Star Killer base_

"Snoke has requested to meet you."

I gulped, suddenly encased in terror. I couldn't believe that the evil dictator had so quickly learnt of my presence on his ship. Holding back tears, I looked up at the cold mask which had given me the dreaded information. Noticing my concern, Kylo removed his mask in an attempt to comfort my growing nerves.

"One of my guards informed him, still suspicious of my intentions. Snoke was curious as to why I had took an interest in you, so he ordered that he see you in person."

My hands began to tremble uncontrollably. I gasped for air as my heart rate dramatically increased from the stress I was experiencing. Feeling lightheaded, I replied to Kylo, knowing what his careful words really meant.

"He's going to kill me himself!" I cried hopelessly. My despair angered an impatient Kylo, who looked dissatisfied at my reaction.

"No he won't! Now listen to me! You will make sure that you keep that mouth of yours shut and do as I say. If he suspects anything then you can guarantee we will both be thrown off of the back of this ship!" He paused, regaining his composure. "The meeting will be this evening, and Snoke has made the effort to hold it in person."

I looked at him confused. Snoke was an incredibly busy creature, so why would he make the effort to come and see me in the flesh?

"What does this mean?" I asked wearily, unsure of what Kylo's response would be.

"It means that he sees more value in you than I do."

I clenched my jaw shut at his harsh words and looked away from his guiltless eyes. If Snoke caught us out, I would spare Kylo no sympathy after the despicable way he had treated me. In a dominant move, he grabbed my chin and turned my head back so I was once again facing him. He ignored the way that his careless words made me feel and showed no signs of remorse to me.

"Before we go you must eat. It has been days since you've digested any solid substances. Follow me to the dining hall, but do not utter a single word to anyone! You will keep your head down and avoid any eye contact."

In an instant I felt worthless. To the first order, I was nothing but a lowly slave from Jakku. It was a far cry from the respectful position I held in the resistance. Yet I knew that there was no way I could return there after meeting Kylo Ren. I had no idea whether Han and Leia were aware of what Ben had turned into, but I couldn't bear to be the one who told them.

As he prepared to direct me through the many corridors of the base, Kylo re-attached his mask. Yet again I was grateful that my blaster had been returned; it was the only thing which gave me the confidence to encounter the masses of Stormtroopers which would surely be roaming the ship. He walked out of the door of his room and I silently followed behind. I was aware that I had more than enough to worry about, without angering Kylo being one of them.

It wasn't long until I watched Kylo's feet come to an immediate stop outside of a large doorway. Once opened, it revealed the large dining hall full of starving soldiers which were eagerly devouring their meals. My eyes bulged at the selection of foods on offer. The place reminded me of the bustling markets on Jakku. A jolt of sadness filled me as I realized that all of that was now destroyed. Kylo broke me out of my daze and ushered me to a small table for the two of us.

"Take a seat and stay here."

Without another word, he left me to get us both our meals. I kept my focus on the surface in front of me, not daring to catch the attention of anyone else around. After a few minutes Kylo returned, armed with a tray full of a variety of different foods. I was surprised to see that he had gotten nothing for himself, but chose not to ask any questions as I rapidly wolfed down all of my meal. My lack of nourishment had definitely took its toll, causing my hunger to be stronger than ever.

It felt like only seconds before I was left staring at an empty tray. I looked up from the table, but was swiftly overwhelmed by the considerate number of troopers which had been staring in my direction. Feeling self – conscious, I returned my gaze back downwards. Kylo's mechanical voice regained my attention.

"Have you finished?"

"Yes." I murmured meekly. Being forced into following his orders made the situation all the more uncomfortable.

"Good. It is time for our meeting with the supreme leader."

Kylo rose from the table and commenced to leave it. I took this as my cue to follow him out of the grand room. Fear pulled at me as time went on and we got closer to seeing Snoke. I attempted to swallow it down and put up a brave front. The last thing I wanted was for him to sense my weakness. The hallways became more lavish as we continued to travel through the ship. I knew that this was a sign of us getting closer to the meeting room.

After a short 10 minute walk, we finally reach the royal hall. Kylo soundlessly opened the door and discretely grabbed my arm, to prevent me from trying to escape now that we were here. I was shocked to see the frail body of Snoke seated on a dark throne across the room.

"Good evening master."

"And to you Kylo. I see you've brought me the little fighter I've heard so much about."

At this point Snoke paused to look me up and down. I felt myself squirming under his authoritative gaze. He was likely picking me apart for any vulnerabilities I had, which he could use to his advantage if needed. I looked over to Kylo, hoping he would respond to Snoke so that I could be spared from the critical scrutiny I was subject to. He disappointed me by remaining silent and impassive.

"I must say Kylo, you have picked well with this one!"

I was astonished by Snoke's complimentary statement. However, I couldn't understand why he thought so well of me after all of the trouble I had caused on board the Star Killer. Regardless of my inquisitiveness, I didn't dare speak up and interrupt the conversation.

"What makes you think this Master Snoke? This girl is simply a slave taken from Jakku."

"You haven't sensed it Kylo? Despite being weak, I can feel the force within her."

Kylo immediately looked over at me. Even though his face was obscured by his mask, I knew he was just as shocked as me at this revelation. I had no idea what to think of the new information. Never in my life had Luke ever informed me of my powers; such a great Jedi like him must have sensed it in me. In one way I felt betrayed that I had never been told of this up until now. If Snoke knew that I was force sensitive, he would surely exploit it.

"How do you feel this, master? I sense no force within her."

"It is untrained and hidden away, but it is present inside of her. You must train her and show her the ways of the dark side."

The supreme leader's sinister smile added to my disgust. I would sooner die than join the first order. Knowing that I was force sensitive only gave me more spur to try and escape this destructive ship. I noticed Kylo curl his hands into fists and could tell he was frustrated that he hadn't discovered my powers up until this point.

"Yes master. I will teach her to harness her powers."

"You must start as soon as possible! We will need her well – trained by our next attack on the resistance in a few months."

"I will try my best."

His calm voice was very deceiving at hiding his obvious anger. Snoke dismissed the both of us, seemingly content that he had a new recruit. I was just grateful that my powers served as a distraction as to why I had really been summoned to him. If he had searched my mind then I would have been totally exposed to him. He would have surely learned why Kylo had actually saved my life.

The walk back to Kylo's room was spent in a tense silence. I was still in too much shock to worry about his temper. Once we reached our destination, both of us entered his chambers. I jumped in fear as he violently slammed the door shut behind him. The mask on his head was thrown off in a fit of rage. His eyes were full of fury as he looked at me in repulsion.

"How can you have the force?! I should have sensed it in you, no matter how weak it is!"

"I don't know Kylo." I replied monotonously, trying not to spike his anger.

"How can I not feel it?!"

This time the question was directed at himself. I watched his outburst in silence as he punished himself for never sensing my powers. He then directed his rage towards me, searching through every part of my body, attempting to find the force which had been concealed away from him. The longer he continued, the more determined he became to find it.

My body filled with pain as he used a stronger force to search through me. Every inch of my body was being ravaged mercilessly in his quest to sense the powers which his master had found within me effortlessly. I cried out as the agony became unbearable.

"Stop Kylo! You're hurting me too much!"

Relief encompassed me as he withdrew from hunting through my body. I collapsed to the ground with exhaustion. Kylo noticed me falling and kneeled down next to me. He was too consumed with resentment to notice the tears pooling in my eyes.

"It was Luke! He knew of your powers and hid them away from everyone, knowing that you would join me!"

"I would never join you." I managed to weakly mumble. Hearing my strained voice caused Kylo's eyes to refocus on the scene in front of him. Noticing my trembling form, he gently picked my body up and carried me to his bed. After placing me down I saw his face again. The disappointment was still evident in his eyes, despite being much calmer now. I struggled to stay awake from the fatigue of his onslaught. My eyes began to drift close and I let myself be pulled into unconsciousness. Just as I was consumed by sleep, I heard a soft whisper by my ear.

"I'm sorry Ana."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _Amongst the ruins of planet Ahch-To_

" _Ana, you must listen to me."_

 _I'm surprised to see none other than Luke Skywalker stood opposite me on the lush planet. I look around the area. How did I get here? His voice is both soothing and commanding to my ears, but I know I'm in no danger from the Jedi who is confronting me. Seeing him this close reminds me of the betrayal I felt when I learnt of my power. If Luke had purposely hidden it away from me, I wanted to know why._

" _You cannot let Snoke take advantage of your power. I shielded your force sensitivity from everyone; including yourself. By the time I sensed the force in you, Ben had begun to rebel."_

 _Hearing Ben's name again felt like being stabbed in the heart. Kylo had killed off the person I once loved; I was sure of it. I couldn't bear to think back to when Ben was only early into his jedi training, before his quest for more power consumed him._

" _Ben doesn't exist anymore! Why did you not tell me of my power? I would have never joined the dark side!"_

" _Ana, there are some things that you cannot know. As you unlock the force within yourself, the temptation to join Kylo Ren will overpower you. You must fight against it."_

" _But I feel no force!"_

" _Now you know of your power, you will slowly find it and learn to use it to its full potential."_

" _How was Snoke able to find it?"_

" _Even I couldn't hide it from such a powerful force user. But you must remember one thing Ana; stay with the light!"_

Slowly, I felt myself fading away from the scene in front of me. Luke's voice became lost as I was pulled away from him. I shot up in Kylo's bed, realizing that I had been sleeping. However, I knew that what I had experienced was real, not a dream. Luke had connected to me and sent me a powerful warning. I would not turn into my own worst enemy.

I looked over to my right and saw a droid scanning my body. I didn't interrupt it as it checked me over for any injuries I may have sustained. Once it noticed I was awake, the droid quickly finished its examination and greeted me in a friendly fashion.

"Mistress Ana, you are awake!"

"Who are you?"

"I am medical droid 2R61, assigned by master Kylo. He expects you to join him in the training room in 10 minutes sharp."

"I do not wish to see him again!"

"I am sorry miss, but these are strict orders!"

I huffed in defeat as I stared at the chirpy robot. Luckily, I found that I was still dressed in my new leather uniform from the night before. With little time to make myself presentable, I hurriedly redid my hair into a braid trailing down my back. I gave the droid a grateful nod as it handed me a simple breakfast of oatmeal. My body still felt exhausted from last night's ordeal, so I wolfed down every last crumb. After seeing that my plate was empty, the kind droid beckoned me.

"We must go Ana. Master Kylo wouldn't want you to be late!"

I half – heartedly followed the droid out of Kylo's room. I dreaded confronting him, unaware of if he planned to search through me again today. 2R61 attempted to hold some simple small talk throughout the two minute walk, but I completely ignored it in my anxious state. The droid made an abrupt stop in front of a pair of tall doors.

"Please enter the room Ana, master Kylo is waiting in there for you."

I took a deep breath and slowly opened both of the menacing doors. I stepped into the training area and noticed Kylo dressed in his full suit and mask, standing at the opposite end of the room. He faced away from me, staring out of the large window which revealed the large expanse of the galaxy. Behind me, the loud sound of 2R61 closing the doors startled me, but left Kylo seemingly unphased. A deafening silence consumed the four walls for a short moment.

"I'm surprised you showed up." Kylo announced, still standing with his back to me.

"You would have forced me to anyway. Don't pretend I had a choice."

My words caused Kylo to turn around. I could tell that he was glaring at me underneath his mask. It irritated me that he acted as if the last day had never happened. The calm façade he was hiding behind only made me feel more frustrated at him.

"You're wrong. Nothing was stopping you from staying there. That measly droid would have put up no fight against you."

"Don't try and make this about me! I can't bear to look at you after what you did to me last night. I felt like my body was being torn apart by your force! Don't think that just because you've apologized I will forgive you."

Trapped in such close quarters with Kylo, I saw red. He was capable of no remorse now that he had joined the dark side. The only thing which allowed me to keep my anger in control was to not give Kylo the satisfaction of seeing himself affect me. I stood rigid as I tried to calm myself down, before another argument could spark between us.

Kylo lifted me up into the air and pulled me across the room towards him. He dropped me by his feet and I landed with a crash on the ground in front of him. I pulled my body up from the ground and stood up in a strong stance; proving I was not afraid.

"Your training begins today."

"I will not be trained as a weapon for the first order! I will never fight for your cause." I confidently reply.

"We will see about that once I'm finished with you."

Yet again I found myself having to calm down before I would get into a fight that I would surely regret. Kylo was actively trying to tip me over the edge, but I would not give in to his constant attempts to unnerve me. I didn't respond to his statement and let the silence once again overpower us.

For a moment, I stared at his threatening black mask which was only a couple of feet away from me. The inhuman design began to make me feel uneasy, but the fear was quickly replaced with annoyance. He used it to block his emotions from me; to make me believe that there was no light remaining in him. His actions over the past week had mostly proved that to me, but I still knew something was holding him back from fully turning dark.

"You cannot feel your force." He once again begins. "It has been locked away all this time. If there is any hope for you to regain your power, it will be done through meditation and isolation. You must find it in order to harness it. Only then are you worthy of being trained by me."

"What are you implying? Am I just a burden to you?"

"Sit down and do as I say!"

His sharp reply caused me to instantly go quiet. I gently sat on the floor, knowing that in his current mood I should follow his orders. A few seconds later he joined me and sat down opposite with crossed legs. He removed his mask but kept his eyes closed. I copied him and did the same. The blindness took me away from the first order battle ship I was currently trapped on and into a state of peace.

"Ana, you must find it within yourself. Only you can do that."

I was unsure as to whether he was referring to his attempt to locate it. Instead of feeling the pain of remembering the event, I completely shut off that part of my mind. I let my limbs slowly relax and became one with myself. The room suddenly felt empty and I could no longer sense the presence of Kylo anymore. I had fully connected to my body and carefully started to search through it. It wasn't long until I became numb to the world around me as my brain called for the force within me to show itself.

It felt like I had been meditating for an endless amount of time before a small flicker of power sparked within me. I was immediately shocked out of my trance, causing my eyes to shoot open and meet the gaze of Kylo. The disturbance overwhelmed me, despite only being exposed to a tiny amount of what was held inside of me.

"Don't worry Ana, I feel it too." Kylo murmured to me.

I had been so close to locating the force that was locked away. A mixture of disappointment and relief filled me. I was aware that as soon as I had connected to the force, Kylo would begin to exploit my power. What he didn't know was that I had my own plan; escape. The resistance would need a force user like myself to help fight against the empire. It would only be selfish to continue to run away from them now I had knowledge of my power.

"I'm not afraid Kylo. The only thing I fear is you."

I wasn't bothered that what I was telling him would make me vulnerable. I knew that he had likely already searched through my mind and knew this information anyway. It also showed how I had no intention of joining him; something which I needed to make sure he knew if this training would ever commence.

"Then you are sensible Ana. But don't think that the small ounce of force you just felt will be all that you will find. When you truly connect with the force within you, the power will be immense."

"But I won't let it consume me like you did Kylo. I am stronger than that."


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _Training centre aboard the Star killer base_

"You think you are strong. You know nothing about your power. I chose the dark side."

"You didn't choose; you were afraid. You ran from me after what happened on Chandrila!" I bitterly replied.

"Why would I run from such a pathetic girl like you?"

His harsh words felt like a slap in the face. The peace I felt moments ago turned into despair as I remembered the dire situation I was in. Kylo had destroyed all of the person I used to care for and had no guilt from his actions. I looked him in the eye, struggling to keep a hold of my turmoiling emotions.

"I may be pathetic Kylo, but at least I am no traitor like you."

My eyes brimmed with tears. I held my mouth tightly closed to prevent myself from sobbing. The effect that he had on me really did make me feel like his defenceless slave. He turned himself around to face the wall, so he could hide his emotions without the use of his insensitive mask. As he stared out of the vast window, I felt my body being lifted into the air. I continued to rise higher above the ground and looked at the tense form of Kylo.

His expression was hidden from me as I was suddenly propelled downwards. I knew that the pain from such a steep fall would be immense. In a panicked state I focused on the floor with all the effort I could possibly manage. My mind strained from my crippling determination; using every bit of power I could get hold of.

My eyes bulged as I was about to collide with the hard floor. I felt an overwhelming relief as my body finally came to a stop mid-air, only a few mere inches from the ground. A few seconds passed before Kylo turned around, shocked to not hear the impact of my body colliding with the surface below. His eyes were rimmed red with tears. I was shaken by the heart breaking emotion that was evident on his face.

I looked down at my feet which were still levitating above the floor. My brain quickly became tired from the action and my focus immediately dropped. I gently landed on the floor, avoiding any further harm. Both myself and Kylo stood in shock; I was completely speechless about what had happened. The energy from my body felt drained from using the force. My legs gave in from underneath me, causing me to break the silence and gasp.

As soon as he noticed me fall, Kylo swiftly caught me in the strong hold of his arms. He carefully carried my limp body and started to leave the training room. I noticed his mask still in its place on the ground, but Kylo chose to leave it behind.

"Kylo what was…"

"Be quiet Ana. We will talk about it later. For now, rest."

He seemed much calmer as he lifted me through the hallways back to his room. The tears that had been apparent in his eyes only moments ago had disappeared. I wondered if they had even been there in the first place. What scared me was his rapid change in personality. Kylo was an unpredictable person who I was always on edge around. But now he reminded me of the person he used to be; Ben Solo.

Many Stormtroopers stared at us as I was brought through the bustling corridors. Despite the walk being brief, it felt like a lifetime before Kylo opened the door and entered his room with me in his arms. He softly laid me on his bed, as if my body was a fragile rag doll. The moment reminded me of the night before, only this time I was the one to cause my body to break.

My limbs were exhausted, yet my brain was livelier than ever. Using the force had enlightened me like never before. Kylo turned around and headed to the bathroom, leading to my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as I was left alone. It was a few long minutes later before he returned, wearing a casual black shirt and pants instead of his usual intimidating suit. The new set of clothes made me see Kylo as a human again, and not a mechanical murderer. He stared at me solemnly, looking lost in thought.

"All I ever do is hurt you Ana. You can't deny the monster I have become," He spoke shamefully. Kylo looked vulnerable as he began to unload his feelings to me. "I feel torn apart inside! You don't know the pain I have to experience every day. Ever since I've found you it has only gotten worse."

He walked over to the bed and seated himself next to my lying form. His hands lightly caressed my hair, triggering jolts to run down my spine. He hadn't touched me like this since he left Chandrila 3 years ago. I forced myself to block the event from my mind and only think about the times we shared before it.

"I could have killed you today; I wanted to so badly!"

I stiffened at his words. "I stopped you though. You think that I am weak, but I am growing and learning all the time. I know you fear that, I don't have to be a mind reader to be able to sense it," I replied. My response led him to look conflicted again. His hand remained in my hair, reassuring me that he was still calm and in control.

"Your fatigue is making you delusional Ana. I have no reason to fear you. You were lucky that you were successful at connecting with the force, or you wouldn't be feeling so confident right now."

I scoffed and rolled over, choosing to face away from him. I lost the sensation of his touch as he withdrew away from me. I started to sense him attempting to search my mind, but used all of my power to block him out. It was only a weak effort, but Kylo took this as a warning that I wanted privacy.

"Leave me alone Kylo. You've done enough damage today."

"You forget that you are in my room Ana," He sarcastically stated.

"Well I would rather be in my cell than your presence right now."

"I can arrange that."

"I'm sure you can. After all, you're a knight now," I quietly murmured.

He finally gave in. Kylo remained in the bed, but stayed mute and gave me the peace I craved. Now that there was calm between us, it was easy to forget Kylo's destructive tendencies. For once it was just me and Ben.

I continued to stare at the wall in front of me. The sound of a yawn escaping Kylo's mouth could be heard from behind. I felt the bed dip as he tucked himself into the sheets. It had only just dawned on me how long we had been meditating for. Kylo had been awake much longer than me, by now his lack of sleep must have caught up with him. After the initial spur in my mind from using the force had worn out, I felt myself become lost to drowsiness.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _Kylo Ren's quarters on Star Killer base_

The majority of the last 4 days had been spent meditating. A calm atmosphere had formed between us, despite my initial bitterness. We had even successfully avoided any more tense stand offs. Every day I began to feel more connected with the force. The small spark I once felt had turned into a powerful wildfire.

It was only early morning when I was woken up by the enthusiastic voice of 2R61. "Master Kylo would like to inform you that you will both be taking a ship to Bakkah," it announced. I had heard of the planet from Leia many years ago. From what I remembered, Bakkah consisted of mainly desert terrain and was located in the outer rim. The way it had been described reminded me of Jakku; both planets were similar in many aspects.

However, there were also plenty of dark rumours about the planet. It was a well-known legend that a valuable sith amulet had been located there a few decades ago. Legend had it that it was given to emperor Palpatine before he was killed; now its whereabouts were unknown. Bakkah's history concerned me of Kylo's true intentions. I was suspicious as to why our destination was a planet greatly linked to the dark side.

I knew that now I had to be more alert than I had ever been before. I couldn't let Kylo take advantage of my blossoming power, or the consequences would be catastrophic. He would stop at no expense to bring me to the dark side, but I would sooner die before that ever happened.

When I finally hauled myself off of the bed, I noticed more of the metallic boxes situated next to the droid. "Master Kylo wanted to deliver these to you," 2R61 promptly spoke. I murmured a short thank you to express my gratitude, before starting to pry open one of the lids. It was then that I remembered the box which had been locked when the first set of deliveries had come. I never questioned Kylo on it, presuming the contents had been for him. The box had disappeared now, and I was clueless as to what he had done with it.

By the time I had opened all of my new supplies a small smile lit up on my face. I had gained new desert attire, similar to my old clothes. However, it was evident that my new outfit was of a much better quality. The silk tunic was composed of elegant white drapes, which would help to keep me cool. Unfortunately, the first order emblem was still largely noticeable on the fitted black belt which it had been accompanied with.

I was also given a mask with a set of safety goggles, likely to protect me from any of the volatile sand storms we could experience. Yet again, Kylo had thought of me when planning this new trip. But his blunt words from last time bounced around in my head. _Stop expecting the best of me, or you will just end up hurt._ I took his warning seriously.

After I was finished scavenging through the new deliveries, the droid kindly served me a plate of breakfast. The taste of the fresh bread and butter was mouth-watering. The treatment I had been receiving since I discovered my force sensitivity was a dramatic improvement. I couldn't help but feel like I was being used.

"Thank you 2R61. Did Kylo say when we would be leaving?" I politely asked.

"In 1 hours' time mistress."

"1 hour?!" My eyes bulged at the short notice I had been given. The information caused me to snap into action and briskly get dressed into my new outfit. After that I began to hurriedly pack the rest of my limited belongings into a dark leather satchel, found in one of Kylo's cabinets.

Despite my suspicions, I couldn't help a small sense of relief at the thought of being able to breathe in fresh air once again. The idea of leaving the Star Killer base thrilled me. I would once again be able to roam the natural landscape of an actual planet. I knew that I couldn't let myself get carried away, or I would be more vulnerable to whatever scheme Kylo had in place.

It only took me 15 minutes to hastily get ready for the spontaneous trip. The droid had patiently waited for me to prepare myself, something that I couldn't see Kylo ever doing. I nodded to 2R61, signalling that I was ready to go and meet Kylo before we set off to the lonely planet. Bakkah wasn't a very populated place due to its extreme climate, and therefore most of the planet was completely isolated.

"Master Kylo said that he would meet you by the flight deck. His ship will be there ready for you both."

"Who is flying the ship?" I curiously asked.

"I am aware that Kylo will be piloting the ship himself. The crew for this journey will consist of only you and my master."

I couldn't deny that I was shocked by the droid's statement. Being alone on a planet with someone as unpredictable as Kylo could be my death sentence. I had no idea that he even knew how to fly a ship, especially to a planet as distant as Bakkah. Even with the hyperdrive, the journey would take well over a day. I decided to stop interrogating the droid and leave all my questions for Kylo once I met up with him.

2R61 proceeded to lead me out of the room and through the ever confusing corridors of the Star Killer. With my white uniform, I blended in with the masses of Stormtroopers we encountered on the way. However, it didn't prevent me from still being intimidated by their inhuman outfits which stripped away any of their personality.

The flight deck was a 10 minute walk away from Kylo's bedroom. The length we had travelled made me realize the extensive size of the station. It worried me that this weapon could be used to wipe out the resistance, and most importantly, all the close friends I left behind on Chandrila. Kylo surely knew the location of his mother, the general. I was grateful that he had managed to hide this away from Snoke.

As we stepped onto the flight deck, I saw many large ships occupying the area. It was bustling with various officers and soldiers who were all working on the complicated mechanics involved in maintaining the fleet. I found myself disoriented by the chaos, but thankfully 2R61 seemed more composed as it led me to Kylo's spacecraft.

I noticed him still wearing his hooded black suit and looked at him in confusion. His dark uniform would leave him sweltering in the desert heat, yet he still chose to wear it out of pride. It said a lot about who he was. Too busy preparing his vessel, Kylo didn't notice us as we walked upto him.

"Master Kylo, Ana is here and ready for departure," 2R61 announced.

He seemed startled by the droid, but almost instantly managed to hide it from everyone. Kylo took a long look at me in my new clothes, I couldn't tell his expression from underneath his mask. It bothered me when I was locked away from his emotions like this, but there was nothing I could do about it. The mask only fuelled Kylo's impulsiveness whenever he wore it.

"Thank you 2R61," Kylo responded. "Did you take care of my other request?"

"Yes master Kylo. No one knows the rendezvous of your ship. I disabled the tracking system last night as you asked."

Kylo continued to ignore my presence as he spoke to the droid. I stopped listening as I heard the revelation; not a single person would know where we were headed to. I wondered why Kylo was so desperate to hide from all of his crew, including Snoke. My mind became distracted and was lost in thought by all the possibilities I created in my head.

"Ana, give the droid your luggage to load onto the ship," Kylo interrupted.

I suddenly focused and did as he asked, handing my bag to 2R61. The droid then left us both alone, wheeling itself away to the hull of the ship. Kylo briefly looked around the room, checking that nobody was listening in. I raised an eyebrow at this gesture and wondered why Kylo was suddenly being so secretive. Once he noticed that we were out of hearing distance from any of the crew, he began to share his plans with me.

"We will be visiting Bakkah for the foreseeable future," he quietly murmured in his robotic voice.

"Why does no one know where we are going? What are you planning to do with me?"

"Keep your voice down Ana!" he harshly whispered, "I will explain everything once we board the ship."

I took that as my cue to remain silent whilst we waited for 2R61 to return and give us the all clear for taking off. I had no clue how I would be able to spend 24 hours in such a confined space with Kylo. I could tell that he was feeling tense about the journey, but I thought that this probably was related to the secretiveness of the situation. Going against the supreme leader would cause anyone to feel nervous; even Kylo.

After a tedious 5 minute wait, I spotted the droid heading towards us. 2R61 addressed Kylo and started to have a mind-numbing conversation about all the technical checks it had completed. I felt incredibly impatient as they both went over all the system data and co-ordinates Kylo would need. The thought of finally getting away from the first order had my stomach doing back flips. Even though Kylo would still have me captive, I couldn't help but feel liberated from the menacing grip of the Star Killer.

"Master Kylo, your ship is one of the most advanced in the galaxy. Please ensure that you return it in one piece once your mission is complete," 2R61 concluded. The aim of his 'mission' was still a mystery to me, but despite that I wasn't foolish enough to think that he wouldn't try to pull me to the dark side whilst he had me alone. A simple nod from Kylo ushered the droid away. He firmly grabbed my arm and began to pull me onto the spacecraft. I speculated why he felt the need to force me to go with him seeing as I had been compliant the whole time.

"Kylo, you don't need to drag me onto the ship, I'm not going to run away," I stated.

"Trust me. When you find out what I really have planned, you will."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _Kylo's first order ship_

His threatening words were stuck in my head for the whole journey. They had infested my brain and constantly been on my mind. Yet I felt too afraid to ask him what he had meant, knowing his answer would not be pleasant. However, it didn't look like I would have to worry about finding out anytime soon, as Kylo tried his best to avoid me for the whole journey.

He was more focused on piloting the ship through hyperspace than attempting to make conversation. Kylo had said we would explain everything to me once we were on board, but seemed to have changed his mind. The fact that he was hiding something from me left me edgy the whole time. My anxiousness came with a wave of insomnia, preventing me from sleeping that night.

Despite the day stuck on the ship being extremely tedious, it was still a luxury compared to the star killer. I for once had some privacy, which I appreciated more than anything. There were also no menacing Stormtroopers occupying the spacecraft. It was as if I had escaped the dire reality I had been plunged into, and now I was freer than ever.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as Kylo announced that we would soon be docking at Bakkah space port in the next few minutes. The whole 24 hours we had spent travelling couldn't have gone by any slower. I noticed that the ship had already dropped out of hyperspace, giving me a good view of the planet. I squirmed at the sight of it. Bakkah looked barren, hostile and dangerous; all things which had probably attracted Kylo to it even more.

The presence of the dark side felt overpowering in this part of the galaxy. I could sense it all around me, slowly closing in. We drifted into the atmosphere of the planet where Kylo began to land the ship on one of the countless docking stations. I reluctantly walked up to the cockpit to meet him.

"Ana, do not say a word to these people. I will sort everything out with them," Kylo stated.

I scoffed at his request, but followed it nonetheless. I knew that I was out of my depth on a planet such as this. There would be no escaping whilst I was here; my main objective was survival. Kylo turned away and pressed a small switch adjacent to the door, causing it to swiftly open. Only now did I get my first look at the surface of Bakkah.

Despite the hot rays of the sun which I could feel penetrating my skin, Kylo still remained in his mask and uniform. He stepped ahead of me and marched out of the doorway, along the metal railings. I sheepishly followed behind him, hesitating to leave the safety of the ship. As soon as I stepped out of the door I felt the crisp air hit me. It was a thrill I hadn't experienced in a while. Even the scorching heat was somewhat soothing.

Once we reached the end of the railing, towards the centre of the large spaceport, an officer addressed Kylo and myself. He was dressed in a light uniform, which was much more suited to the climate than Kylo's heavy robes. His composure looked incredibly professional as he stood with authority, yet I wasn't intimidated by him whatsoever.

"Nice for you to visit Mr Ren. We weren't made aware of your arrival. Is there something urgent we need to be informed of?" he greeted.

"There is nothing to worry about. I am simply here to visit with my apprentice, nothing more. But I would appreciate your confidentiality, officer."

It was evident that the man who had welcomed us had a torn look on his face. He looked well – trained, and could probably tell that Kylo was lying to him. I knew that he was desperate to inform his officer as soon as we had left. Kylo was quick to realize this too, but didn't let it bother him. Instead, he took advantage of his force powers to ensure that the officer wouldn't be a liability.

"You will walk away and forget that we landed here. You will not remember meeting us."

"I will walk away and forget that you landed here. I will not remember meeting you," he monotonously replied.

I stood in shock as the officer marched away and did just as he said. It concerned me how powerful Kylo was at manipulating other people's minds. I also wondered whether he had used it to influence my own mind over the years as well. Kylo checked that I was still with him before continuing on his journey. It caused me to snap out of my thoughts and follow his determined pace.

I had no idea why he was so paranoid that I would escape. It wouldn't be possible even if I tried; I was completely new to this menacing planet. I knew that any attempts to run away would ultimately fail. However, it didn't stop the thought from teasing itself in my head every so often. My hope was the only thing which gave me the will to live.

I took fast steps the keep up with Kylo's large strides. He was certainly in a rush to leave and get to whatever place that he was planning on us staying at. I didn't blame him for his hastiness after the scene we had just caused. Our presence was obviously not wanted on this planet; it would only lead to an army of Stormtroopers following us and destroying everything in their path until we were found.

I thought about what our new residence would be like. I knew that Kylo had always lived in luxury, but from the year I spent on Jakku I had grown used to living off the bare minimum. Wherever he was planning on taking us couldn't be worse than my small shack that I used to call home. I was snapped out of my speculations as Kylo came to a halt by a small transporter ship and swiftly opened its hatch.

"Ana, we'll be making the rest of the journey in here, get in."

He didn't give me chance to reply as he proceeded to seat himself in the piloting position. I was frustrated by the way he had been purposely eluding me, but spoke nothing about it as I perched myself next to him. Inside the ship was much quainter than Kylo's own first order spacecraft. It didn't surprise me, after all Kylo was only ever given the best of the best from the supreme leader.

Kylo made no delay before launching the cramped ship into full throttle. The speed at which we travelled threw me back into my seat with a strong force. I was still deliberating over his adamant urgency and obvious stress throughout our entire journey. The desolate landscape flew past as we sped across the planet. I felt an urgent need to know why I had been brought here.

I never even attempted to fill the long silence with small talk as I continued to watch the limited scenery through my window. I had given up with Kylo. Whenever I thought I was making progress, I would always end up taking another few steps back. He shut me away, like he did with everyone. He had even turned his back on his own parents. I sometimes wondered about how lonely he must have felt; but he chose this life and therefore deserved the consequences of it.

My daydreaming made the time fly by. Before I knew it, Kylo had stopped the ship and landed it by a simple clay house. This was far from the lavish quarters he had on the star killer, yet I still preferred it. However, I wasn't sure about how well Kylo would adjust to the change in lifestyle. It amazed me that he had picked this place himself. It would definitely feel cosy with the both of us occupying it.

But for some reason I found myself smiling at our new abode. It was a reminder of my old life and most importantly, my freedom. Yet Kylo's attitude towards me had already ruined my mood. I couldn't believe the way he had cut me off all of a sudden. The only time he spoke to me anymore was to give me an order or another one of his vague warnings. The way he purposely evaded my eye contact caused me to finally flip over the edge; I was tired of him ignoring me.

"What's your deal Kylo? Why drag me all the way here with you, when you can't even find it in yourself to look at me?"

He glared in my direction, making me wish I hadn't opened my mouth. Whatever Kylo was thinking, certainly wasn't pleasant. Despite my temptation, I held myself back and bit my tongue. It was a painfully long wait before Kylo finally responded.

"There are many things you need to know Ana. I knew that I told you everything before we left, then you would have never come. Even if that meant your own death."

"What could possibly be so despicable that I would sacrifice my life to avoid?" I questioned.

His answer caused a violent storm to brew within me.

"I'm going to bring you to the dark side and show you its beauty. Then once your training is complete, we will kill Snoke together."


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 _Remote area of Bakkah_

"You're right about one thing Kylo. I would rather die than join the dark side with you."

"You just need to let it in Ana! The power you feel now is nothing compared to the power that the dark side can give you!" he pleaded.

"Why would you want to kill Snoke anyway?! He is your master; I thought that you worshipped him!" I questioned.

"He is holding me back Ana! With your force by my side we would be unstoppable!"

I paused, not knowing how to reply to his bold statement. It made me realize something which broke my heart. Kylo didn't go to all this effort for me because of our once close friendship, instead it was all about the power I had gained, which he wanted to take advantage of. He was blinded and consumed by the dark side, letting it dictate his every action. I cringed at his greed.

Kylo seemed to notice my reaction and removed his mask for the first time in a day. I saw the sincerity on his face, but knew that it was likely a ploy to make me empathize with him. I would not let Kylo become that same monster that Snoke already was, and I certainly wouldn't join his side as he did. I kept my face impassive to not show any weakness, something I learnt from Kylo himself.

"Ana, I care about you, not just the force you possess. But I'm not the same person now, so stop expecting me to be. I want you with me as we rule the galaxy together!"

I spat on his face with disgust before exclaiming, "Get a grip Kylo! I will never cause the same pain and suffering as Snoke has! You wouldn't ever be able to even force me into becoming a tyrant like him!"

Knowing that Kylo would likely be outraged by my response, I turned around and marched into the small house. A quick sigh of relief escaped me as I realized that he hadn't followed behind. Once I entered the home I found a wooden chair, located by the modest dining table, and sat myself on it. My head was in my hands as I silently sobbed over what had happened. There was no way out of this for me now; I was in too deep.

I wished that I could return to my old life, when I was oblivious to my force sensitivity. My power now was my only value to Kylo; if I didn't comply with his training then he would soon find a way to dispose of me. I didn't believe that he was actually capable of still caring for anyone after all the deeds he had committed. He just wanted me to trust him, something which I could never see myself being foolish enough to do.

I lost any sense of time as I was stuck sifting through the masses of thoughts which overcrowded my mind. It was only when I looked through the window that I noticed that the sun was already setting on Bakkah. It was challenging to adjust to the new day cycle on this planet, but I would probably have plenty of time to do that. I watched the vibrant colours of the sunset light up the sky. It was the most beautiful sight I had seen so far on this arid planet.

Through the glass planes I also noticed the figure of Kylo. He had changed his clothes now to some more suitable desert attire, which he had brought with him in the small spaceship. Like myself, he was staring straight at the sunset and admiring the view. As if sensing my prying eyes, he span his body to directly meet my eye contact. I held his gaze out of defiance, it was only when he began to pace towards the house that I felt myself panic inside.

I still dreaded what his retaliation would be after what I had done. The door swiftly opened, giving me a more detailed look at his new uniform. His black t-shirt and pants were perfectly fitted to his body, but made of a much lighter material that would keep him cool. They were a complete contrast to what he usually wore, other than the dark colour scheme which he religiously kept to.

As Kylo stood in the room, he continued to stare at me in deafening silence. His body was tense with anger, yet his eyes seemed much less threatening. For the first time in a while, I could tell that he was trying to control his rage. I decided to break the silence before he unloaded his outburst onto me.

"Kylo, I'm not apologizing for what I did. Honestly, you deserved it."

"Try anything like that again and next time I won't be so forgiving! Today I will just presume that your fatigue was the reason for your irrationality."

"Then you can presume wrong."

I wasn't sure whether it was for my best interest to rile him up like this. But his proposition had been so ludicrous that he deserved everything he got. I couldn't believe that he had the pride to call me the irrational one after all he had done.

Maybe it was my determination, or just Kylo's overall tiredness after the long trip, but he decided to drop the situation. It would benefit both of us to not constantly be at each other's throats all of the time. The purpose of this trip was for my training, which I was eager to advance with. The better I got, the easier it would be to find my way back to the resistance. Only now did I realize that my true home had always been there.

"I've started a fire outside. When the sun goes down, the temperature here plummets. There should be some food stocked up in the cupboards. Find something we can cook over the flame and bring it out to me," Kylo instructed.

I gave him a simple nod before he returned to the small campfire outside. It was then that it dawned on me that the house lacked any electricals whatsoever. It didn't shock me particularly; after all, we were in the middle of nowhere. I searched though the kitchen and noticed that Kylo was correct about it being full of food. I wondered who had brought it here for us.

It didn't take me long to find an unknown type of meat which we would probably be able to cook. I wasn't particularly picky, so I decided that I would bring it out for Kylo to see what he could do with it. Reluctantly, I headed outside towards the crackling fire. Kylo looked uncharacteristically calm despite our confrontation only moments ago.

He watched me carefully as I walked over to him, with the food still steadily held in my hands. Once I had reached Kylo, I soundlessly handed over the meat and took a seat on one of the many pale logs which were positioned around the flame. The way that the fire danced mesmerized my eyes. I focused my mind on it and smiled in delight as the flame suddenly started to burn brighter.

I looked up and saw that Kylo had been discretely glancing over at me. Almost instantly he snapped his eyes away and returned his concentration back onto the food. I didn't think much of the gesture, instead I was left with a growing sense of boredom building up within me. Today had been a long day, and for once I just wanted to forget about the constant war throughout the galaxy. The silence between us had become uncomfortable, so I decided to attempt some petty small talk.

"What kind of meat are you roasting?" I curiously asked.

"You honestly don't know Ana?"

I stared in confusion at him. Kylo seemed to find my question amusing, which could be seen from the small laugh he let out. Most of the food that was stocked in the cabinets I had never seen before in my life. Kylo overlooked that I had spent the last year on a basic diet which was essential for my survival. It surprised me that he hadn't commented on my scrawny frame.

"Sorry, but I haven't eaten meat in at least a year. It all looks the same to me now."

"It's bantha steak. Nothing special, but something that's easy to come by on desert planets. I'm surprised you didn't see any on the previous planet you were staying at," he answered.

I nodded in approval. In all honesty, I couldn't care for what our meal would consist of. As long as it cured my hunger, I would be satisfied. I was just relieved that we were still capable of having a civil conversation without screaming at each other. It was also pleasant to see a small smile on Kylo's face for once.

"Why were you on Jakku, Ana?"

His abrupt question caught me off guard. I had no idea how to answer it. I could try to lie, but Kylo was still stronger than me and could easily read my mind if he wanted to. Old memories resurfaced in my head of the days I ran away. For weeks I was hysterical, not knowing how I would survive on such a hostile planet. But I had to get away from everyone and grieve the loss of my friend.

"I left Chandrila when I came of age. I guess you could say that I fell apart after you left."

My words caused a guilty look to plague his face. He had never known what had happened to me after he had gone; for all he knew I was as good as dead. But what he didn't realize, is that his actions that day had caused a significant impact on me. He was now another person completely, I was only ever given glimpses of the Ben I loved.

In an attempt to change the subject, Kylo announced, "The steak looks ready to eat, come here and grab a piece." It hurt me that he couldn't talk about his life before the mask with me. I felt as if I was communicating with a stranger most of the time. Nevertheless, I did as he asked and strolled over, taking my meal from his firm hands. As soon as I had seated myself again, I didn't waste another second before tearing into the meat and devouring it completely. It was another bad habit I had gathered from Jakku.

Kylo was accurate about the weather. Once the moon had come out, I felt myself shiver from the spontaneous temperature drop. Noticing how cold I was, Kylo fetched his cloak and passed it to me to wrap around my freezing body. I felt very grateful for the gesture as the cloak encased me in warmth. Both of us hadn't slept the whole journey here, and it was beginning to take its toll.

"Tomorrow, we will resume your training. You will be taught the art of mind control," Kylo suddenly declared.

I was broken from my moment of peace and reminded of the work I still had to do whilst I was here. I was surprised that Kylo would teach me such a thing, after all it would only make him more vulnerable. He obviously trusted me a lot more than I trusted him. This was likely because I posed no real threat to him at the moment.

"Does that include the little stunt you performed on that officer today?" I sarcastically asked.

"Don't pretend that I had a choice Ana. But yes, that is exactly what you will learn."

It worried me that I would soon be capable of manipulating others in such a way. Would it turn me into a monster like him? I truly hoped not. For the first time in a while, I hid my worries and painted a convincing smile of consent on my face. If Kylo knew of my insecurities, he would believe that he had a chance of tempting me to the darkness.

But I would never let that happen.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 _Kylo and Ana's residence on the planet Bakkah_

The next day I awoke to see that Kylo's bed was unoccupied and he had suspiciously disappeared. After the long conversation the night before, I had finally passed out on the stiff mattress. From my position I could see that the Sun was already high in the sky, so it was likely midday by now. I was still dressed in my desert robes, which meant that I only had to quickly make myself presentable before exiting the house to attempt to find Kylo.

Outside in the direct sunlight, the heat was more prominent than ever. It was stronger than it had ever been on Jakku, and gave me an overwhelming burning sensation on my skin. I gritted my teeth and desperately scanned the horizon for any signs of Kylo. He was nowhere to be seen, causing me to sigh in defeat.

I turned around and headed back towards the shaded house. Almost suddenly, I felt a strong hand cover my mouth and another grip my body. I jerked in panic and writhed against the threatening figure. As I looked at my captor, I noticed the familiar black curls of none other than Kylo Ren. My body relaxed and I stopped putting up a fight against him.

He let his hand remain over my mouth knowing that he had angered me, so that I wouldn't be able to scream all of the obscenities that were in my head at him. The way he had purposely terrified me caused me to fill with resentment. Kylo silently walked with me in his hold until we reached a large stone clearing. I could make out the remains of an old temple; whether it was Jedi or Sith was unknown to me.

He came to a halt in the midst of the ruins and finally let his grip on me drop. I tried my best to calm my frustration, but my heart was still beating rapidly from the shock. In an effort to distract myself, I scanned our surroundings. The place looked ancient, but was still beautiful in its own right. The intricate carvings on the walls that still stood were incredibly elegant. I was snapped from my daze by the infuriating voice of Kylo.

"Today I'm going to teach you the art of mind manipulation. You will need to be as strong mentally as you are physically."

"Was kidnapping me part of your mind training as well?!" I interrupted.

"No. But I must admit that I enjoyed it."

I scoffed at his arrogant statement. Kylo thought that he could easily overpower me and treat me as he wished. If I kept at my training, one day I would stand equal with him, and only then would I be able to put up a decent fight. There was no gain of going into a war with him when I was still no match for his power.

"Before you can learn how to penetrate a mind, you must first learn how to defend your own," Kylo continued.

I felt an abrupt force unexpectedly attack my brain. I fought it off as best as I could and used everything I had against it. I glared at Kylo whilst he stood in concentration, trying his hardest to enter my mind. The strain of defending myself eventually became too much, causing my thoughts to finally be exposed to Kylo. I could feel him sifting through my mind, leaving me with no privacy whatsoever.

"Get out of my head!" I screamed at him.

It was a few seconds before he did as I asked and withdrew himself from my brain. His delayed reaction was likely to spite me and prove how weak I really was. I pushed those lurking thoughts from my mind, knowing they would only make me paranoid. Instead I focused on the task at hand, making my mental defences against Kylo stronger.

"You're still weak Ana. You may have the force, but you don't know how to use it to your advantage. This time, focus on only the area I am attacking. Don't force your energy towards it, instead let it flow and protect you itself," Kylo instructed.

I nodded at his command. As I felt him begin his attack again, I closed my eyes and let my body relax. I guided the force within me to protect the area of weakness which he was chipping away at. I forgot about everything whilst I let the force do all the work for me. It was extremely difficult at first, but eventually his power felt weaker against my resistance. Slowly, Kylo's presence began to fade from my thoughts, causing me to open my eyes and see a look of approval spread across his face.

I couldn't stop a grin my reaching my lips from the pride I felt. I knew that I wasn't perfect at it yet, but I would keep practising until I could completely master it. Just the idea of finally being able to keep my thoughts private from others brought tears of joy to my eyes. It had been a while since I had allowed myself to think freely, out of fear of someone searching my mind. Internally I was grateful to Kylo for teaching me something so important.

I didn't let myself get too carried away though, Kylo wasn't nearly as powerful as Snoke. I was aware that I would still stand as no match against the supreme leader reading my thoughts. He was the real enemy in all of this, but Kylo's training could only go so far; after all Snoke had purposely made sure Kylo wasn't as powerful.

"Thank you," I finally stated.

"Don't let yourself think that you are an expert yet, Ana. Let's go over this a few more times before we call it a day. You only woke up early this afternoon, so it won't be long until sunset."

* * *

By the end of our training session, I had successfully managed to hold off Kylo every time, despite him being much tougher in his attempts as we progressed. I must admit that there were a few close calls. At some points I had wondered whether to trust my force and take a step back, knowing that the assault against me was brutal. I was thriving under Kylo's command, but would not let that tempt me towards the dark side.

I was starting to wish that I had awoken much earlier in the day as the sun started to lower until it was almost non-existent. As darkness neared, I escaped to our commode, not wanting to have to face the same freezing temperature drop as yesterday. Kylo had somehow found another way to disappear from my sight, leaving me alone on my short journey back. I kept a look out now, not wanting him to shock me like he had last time.

The four walls of our home were no comfort to me. A small blanket that was laid out on my bed was my only source of warmth. I snuggled up to it on one of the wooden chairs which we owned. The night was rapidly closing in, and Kylo was still nowhere to be seen. I didn't know who to worry about more; him or myself.

My stomach began to ache as I realized that I had not eaten all day. Presuming that Kylo would not be back for a while, I started to scavenge through the cupboards for anything which could be eaten straight from the shelf. It didn't take long for me to find some fresh bread and a few other appetisers paired with it. The smell of the food had my stomach churning even more. I didn't delay in quickly consuming all of my meal.

As I finished licking the remnants of food from my lips, Kylo made his entrance. Despite his best efforts to conceal it, I could clearly see the look of distress on his face. I glanced over at his stance, noticing a metallic object in his hand; Ben's lightsaber. His expression instantly made sense. The memories that the item held were those he desperately tried to block.

Unlike his new saber, the old one was a pure blue. It was the colour of a Jedi, something which had made me incredibly proud the first time he had wielded it. I couldn't believe that he had kept it all these years, after all he had done. I was shocked that Snoke hadn't had it destroyed, but Kylo had likely hidden it from him.

"This is yours now," Kylo announced as he handed over the saber to me. He thrust it into my hand, completely disgusted by the sight of the object. I gripped the saber with confidence, enjoying the touch of the powerful hilt. It was a mystery to me why he had given me such a potent weapon.

"How come you kept it Kylo?" I inquisitively asked.

"The saber is powerful. It would have been a waste to eradicate it. I had it delivered to me when you received your first batch of supplies. But now it will be yours, and you will learn how to use it as I train you with it."

I nodded my head and returned my attention to the item in my palms. Now I understood why the metal box in Kylo's room had been locked and hidden away. It truly was as stunning as I remembered, and now it was my own. It surprised me that I had been given something so personal to him, but didn't want to think too hard on it. I sensed the light which was trapped inside the saber, knowing that it would protect me from the dark side.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 _Ancient temple ruins of Bakkah_

Over the last week spent on this baron planet, both Kylo and myself had started to appreciate each other's presence more and more. The close proximity we had been forced to grow accustomed to was likely what caused the inevitable bond. The bitter rowing had become almost non-existent and allowed us to co-exist in harmony.

Lightsaber combat did not come as easy to me as the mind element of my training, but my stubbornness prevented me from giving in. I knew that I wasn't as physically strong as Kylo, but was able to use my agility to my advantage. After 7 days of intense training, I found myself capable of holding back Kylo for quite a while before he would finally overpower me. He had obviously had years more of practise, and his experience shone through whenever we fought.

We were both in the middle of one of our longest and most tiring fights. Both of our lightsabers constantly clashed with each other, making blue and red sparks fly about everywhere. I lunged towards Kylo, but he swiftly ducked and held his lightsaber up towards my neck. I looked down at the closeness of the red flame in fear.

"I win again Ana. You're showing some signs of improvement at least," Kylo teased.

He removed the saber from my neck and returned it to his side. I rolled my eyes at his smugness, but a small smile of amusement still managed to creep onto my face. I released the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and positioned my stance to resume the battle.

"You want to go again?"

"Sure," I confidently replied.

I didn't let my growing fatigue bother me as we continued from where we had left off. The need to prove my strength to Kylo was what kept me going. I wanted him to know that I wasn't the same meek girl he knew all of those years. It worried me that I was so desperate for approval from someone like him.

I let my sprightly form aid me in defending Kylo's skilled moves. He became the dominant one, always remaining on the offensive. My flexibility allowed me to avoid the red flame of his saber, but Kylo was still able to get close enough to keep me on edge.

My arms began to grow weak from the relentless battering of Kylo's saber. I let out an involuntary growl as I fought against the tiredness of my body, unwilling to surrender. As I rose my saber in an attempt to overrule Kylo, my legs unexpectedly gave in from underneath me. Kylo had already lunged towards me, leading me to watch in horror as he failed to stop the momentum of his action.

The saber collided with my hip, searing straight through my skin. I screamed in pure agony as I finally hit the floor. My hand went to my side and was instantly soaked in the blood of my wound. I was mortified by the gory sight in front of me. Kylo immediately lowered himself to me and put pressure on the gash in an attempt to slow the bleeding. I cried out in pain as the crippling wound took hold of my body.

"Ana, I'm sorry! This wasn't supposed to happen! You're going to be ok; I'm not going to lose you!"

I stared at him with with tears pooling in my eyes. It was rapidly becoming more difficult to focus on what Kylo was saying as the blood drained from me. I tried my best to murmur a reply and calm him, but couldn't find the strength to speak. Kylo noticed my vastly deteriorating condition and hauled my body up, carrying me bridal style.

I felt him begin to sprint as he lifted me and willed my eyes to stay open, not wanting to lose myself to the unpredictable darkness. For once, I saw his face light up with emotion. It was the first time he hadn't tried to hide away his feelings with a blank expression. The dread in his eyes was undeniable as he watched me fade away in his arms.

But this wasn't the first time this had happened. The only difference was, back on Chandrila he had wanted to cause me harm. I remembered vividly the look of rage as he let me fall to pieces in front of him. The way he looked now couldn't be any more different than the event that day.

His speed meant that our journey back was a brief one. The door to our house was demolished as he slammed his way through it. I was gently placed onto the table by Kylo before he hurriedly located the emergency medical supplies. I noticed my breathing begin to slow and my limbs become numb. My eyelids felt heavy and started to lower, tempting me to join the blackness which was now swirling around me.

"Ana stay with me! That's an order!" Kylo bellowed.

I used my last bit of strength to squeeze his hand for comfort. Kylo used the force to jolt my body awake and boost my adrenaline. I observed him pick up a device and position it against my wound. Suddenly, a laser shot from it and towards the gash. A sharp pain ripped through me and led me to let out a sickening scream.

The discomfort was intolerable and made me wish for my life to end. At that moment, I was ready to embrace oblivion in order to escape the harsh agony of reality. The ray of light had caused the wound to seal, leaving me with a crimson scar and bloodstained skin. Kylo was too focused to notice my distress as he continued to clean up the wound.

* * *

By the end of my excruciating ordeal, I had experienced more pain that the rest of my short lifetime altogether. I was dangerously low on blood, so was made to take a heavy dose of iron replenishment supplements. Kylo had managed to transport my body to my bed without too much of a struggle and left me to rest.

Once he thought I was asleep, I heard the frustrated cries he let out over what had happened. The sound of his fist colliding with the wall frequently shocked me out of my slumber. My inability to reassure him left Kylo spiraling into a frenzy of guilt. It was out of character for him to care like this, especially after all the previous occasions he had injured me.

Today had been a turning point for him. It was evident how hard it had hit him. It irritated me that I couldn't move my aching body. Instead, I was left powerless and unable to stop Kylo from possibly destroying everything in his path with anger.

I slipped in and out of consciousness for what felt like hours. My hazy state meant that I had no sense of time whatsoever. The only idea I had was from the dimming light that was being cast through the window. I watched the sun slowly get swallowed up and the moon begin to rise. I counted the thousands of stars which were illuminating the sky, and wondered about the stability of the rest of the galaxy now we had no contact with anyone.

I lay there helpless, whilst galaxies battled each other in catastrophic wars. Thousands of rebels died everyday by fighting for the resistance, and I had been closer than ever to joining them today. Fortunately for me, Kylo had access to the best medical supplies in the universe, so was able to bring me back from the brink of death.

It would only be a few days until I would fully recover. My blood was already quickly replacing the masses I had lost. The pills I had taken would only speed up that process. The only reminder I would ever be left with would be the large scar which stretched from my hip to the middle of my abdomen. It didn't bother me, my body was already covered in them from countless clashes on Bakkah.

If anything, it had caused more of an effect on Kylo than it had on me.


End file.
